Navigating Discipline, Distractions, and Desires
A friend of mine is down on his luck. He feels he lives in a life of broken promises. Name a subject (home, work, career, dreams, family, finances), they have all disappointed him. He had a time when things were going great for him. Now, it seems, everything has fallen apart. He doesn’t know how he got where he is. He doesn’t know what happened to his dreams. He doesn’t know how to climb his way out.
Two advantages are available to those who are on the outside looking in: we see things with less emotion and see things that are there without trying to color the view. My friend has been on a downward spiral for many years. It’s interesting. Success, I have found for me and most others, is slow. Failure gives the impression that it can happen overnight, undoing the years it took to climb.
It takes discipline to reach long-range goals and to stay at a goal when you reach it. As a friend of mine who is a former running back for the Tennessee Titans told me, “You’re either getting better or you’re getting worse.” There really is no stasis. It can be tiring sometimes to swim upstream. Practicing discipline is difficult.
My friend let down his game. He lost focus. Other things clouded his view. His goals became wishes. He allowed his priorities to change. The exterior of his world became his reality, not the interior of his dreams. He slipped. He became worse. It didn’t happen overnight. As some say, it is a slippery slope. Once he started down, he slid all the way to the bottom. Now, he is trying to make sense of it.
Life for all of us is full of distractions and deadly sirens singing lovely songs, asking us to divert ourselves from our knowingly correct path. We hear those songs. They seem innocent at first, temporary, just a minor distraction. They are magnets, though. Without knowing, like fish on a line, we are slowly pulled to the bank, where we are lifted out of the water. By then, the shock of it won’t allow us to breathe. If left there too long, we die. I feel my friend is gasping. Don’t take the hook. Don’t be tempted by the bait. Keep your eyes on the prize and eliminate distractions you know will harm your self-discipline. I cannot help my friend find his way back. He is going to have to do that himself. It is going to have to come from within. It must be individual.
Why can’t I – or anyone else – help? Because to make them real, goals must be aligned with one’s values and desires. No one, no matter how much I care for my friend or you care for yours, can help. Only the person with the goal, who knows the “why” of the goal, can make the change and ultimately make the journey. Knowing the “why” of why you want to do something is vital. My friend needs to ask himself: “Why?”
My friend’s fate does not fall loosely on my awareness. I know that he could be my fate, as well, without constant diligence. Maybe you, too, have slipped or have let life interfere with your dreams and goals. Reevaluate and redefine. No matter what you are doing, ask yourself, “Why?” If you don’t like the answer, you have a choice, as does my friend. It’s a question that only each of us can answer for ourselves.
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