Mastering Interpersonal Skills for Writing Success
Relating to and getting along with people (agents, editors, publishers, producers, other writers, reviewers, interviewers, readers, the list goes on forever) is one of the hardest parts about being human, if not the most challenging part of being a writer. One wrong step and you’re seen as a prima donna. Another misstep and someone gets offended. A major mistake and your publisher says ‘goodbye’.
I recall back when I was an actor in Los Angeles, I used to tell fellow actors that although we had work and a modicum of talent, probably the most gifted individuals in Los Angeles could be found among those homeless and jobless living under the roots of the banyan trees down around Santa Monica. Talent alone wasn’t what landed us our jobs. Talent alone, I don’t believe, is what gets us published or establishes our writing careers. We need talent, of course, but more than that, we must connect with people on whatever level our individual talents allow. And I don’t think you’ll disagree with me when I say that the most successful writers are not always the ones making the most money.
If you aren’t among those who are making the most money, you can change that. It boils down to one thing. Seriously. It’s this simple…
Interpersonal skills.
Interpersonal skills. These can be learned and whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, you need to acquire them if you want to succeed in your career. What I have discovered is that people are everything. Some of the greatest moments in my life have come from my interactions with people and also my greatest opportunities. And it’s never too late to learn these skills. There are numerous books and courses available. All waiting for us to take advantage of them. The great thing is that it doesn’t matter what our past or our career looks like; we can turn everything around if we just realize that everything we do and need involves other people. Beyond our natural talent and acquired abilities, people are truly our greatest wealth.
I believe that without our ability to work with others, to reach out to others, to laugh with others, to cry with others, we are only operating at half capacity. I don’t think we ever fulfill our full potential or the full potential that life itself has to offer.
I have a friend who, many years ago, taught me something that I have implemented and will never forget: every week, meet one new person. Make it your mission. She would call someone on the phone. She would take someone to lunch or coffee. She had a network of people I couldn’t even fathom. When she needed something – personally or professionally – she had someone to call and, what is even more wonderful, when they needed something, they knew they had someone too. I followed her advice and like Robert Frost’s counsel, it has made all the difference in my life. Want to know how someone knows a lot of people? There you have it. Fifty-two new people, at minimum, every year.
Reach out. See what a difference it will make, not only in the lives of others but also in your own.
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