Empowered, Value-Driven, Purposeful Living
Sometimes, achieving success can feel like a maze. Decisions that don’t work out, choices that make us unhappy, shots in the dark that make us look foolish; all these outcomes keep us on edge. But there is a solution: be yourself.
I’ve always felt, still feel, and have always lived my life that work should be fulfilling to the point that it is not considered work; it is play. I’ve been willing to make sacrifices for that. I also think your personal life should be a fulfilling part of life. I’ve made sacrifices for that, too. And I’ve gained everything because of it. You just have to say, “No.”
Discovering your priorities is the key to empowerment. Only you can find them. Take some time. Reflect. Pretend you’re at the end of your life looking back. What would you like to see behind you? That is what you need to see before you. Focus on your priorities and then be your compass. Look to yourself for guidance. The answer is not with someone else. The answer to who you are and what you are to become can only be found in you.
Focusing means creating a strategy. Do you have a strategy? If not, reflect on your priorities and put one together. You can always change it. You don’t live life by chance; you live it by purpose. Move forward with that purpose in everything you do.
Moving forward means making yourself accountable. Realize that your future trajectory depends upon your decision about the direction you want your life to take. If you do not make the choices for your future, someone else or life will make those choices. Put yourself in the driver’s seat. Make the choice today and affirm that you will live the life you dream of.
It is what you put into your life that matters. You know what we’re entitled to? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. We must earn everything. Base everything in your life not on what you want someone else to give you but rather on your own performance, choice of direction, dedication, and contributions to your life and career. Make it happen. It will not be given to you.
You make things happen by looking for opportunities. Once you know yourself, know what you want, and understand the values you will live by, align everything you do with those values and your career and personal aspirations. Visualize it before you arrive as though you were going on a trip. That ensures that you indeed will get there. Failing to plan is a plan to fail. Do you have a vision for your future? Can you write it down right now? If not, create one. Without it, you’re flying over the Bermuda Triangle.
What if you’ve already muddled up your life? Well, it happens. I’ve certainly muddled my life many times. Solution: unmuddle it. Fix what is not working, whether in your career, personal life, family, or social life. Fix it and fix it now and with courage and direction, guided by your reflection of that future self of yours, looking back somewhere in the far future, and determining if you indeed, at the close of your life, lived a life well-lived.
If you’re in a rut you don’t want to be in, there are ways to fix it constructively without blowing up the whole bridge. Talk about it first with those with whom a change is needed before you make a rash decision. It’s best to fix a problem rather than walk away from it; fixing it is undoubtedly better than destroying a relationship. When you feel a change is in order, give the other person or party the opportunity to make amends or compromise. There’s no sense or advantage to burning bridges. We all live in a small pond.
If you must leave the relationship or job, ensure you have a firm plan for your next step. Too often, people leave the fire for the frying pan. If you’re going to make a jump, make sure it is beneficial to you and your forward movement. This will allow your values and goals to be included and your success to be heightened. Be one with yourself. Keep focused on your values. Make every relationship—business or pleasure—align with who you are at your core.
You, as an individual, are valuable. Focus on that value. Do not, as we so often attempt to do, undersell yourself. Life is a win-win. Other people need to win to make it worthwhile for them to have a relationship with you, but you also need to win. We work best when we are all happy and feel we are being recognized, compensated, heard, and understood. Just as you must have everyone recognize you for who you are, you must also return that and recognize others for who they are. Maybe that means they don’t share your values and shouldn’t be in your circle. Perhaps they are not supportive and should best be avoided. Make that choice and wish them well and godspeed if a parting is needed. Life should be a partnership, not adversarial sparring. View it as such.
When I was younger, my elders told me to “accept it.” My response to you: Don’t. Don’t accept anything. Approve it instead. Negotiate it. Be proactive. Do this by preparing yourself and making yourself justify and defend your chosen life. If it is not defensible, change it. Keep your life based on the merit you bring and the fairness you give yourself and others, not entitlement or idealistic wishes that never have a foundation in action and commitment. If you do this, success is no longer a maze. Your life becomes solid, and nothing, absolutely nothing, can rock that strong foundation.
