A Brief Study in Potato Chips

We’re all about soul-searching and personality-typing these days, so I’ve come up with my own system of psychoanalysis. Thought I’d throw it in the ring.

Personality test:


What kind of chips do you eat?

1) You’re a health nut and don’t eat anything fried. But if you had to, home-made kale chips, seasoned with extra virgin olive oil.

2) Anything covered in BBQ-flavored powder.

3) Puffed rice crisps. Onion-flavored, if you’re feeling dangerous.

4) Regular ol’ potato chips. With extra salt. As much salt as possible, actually.


Where do you wipe off the potato grease?

1) Irrelevant. There is no grease. You eat raw vegetables.

2) Wipe it off? Why let any of that delicious grease go to waste?

3) You wash your hands three times to make sure the residue is completely gone.

4) Your pants. Or the arm of your couch. Whichever’s closest.


You’re finished eating and there is 1/4 cup crushed potato chips in the bottom of the bag. What do you do?

1) This is a stupid quiz and you’re going outside for a ten mile run.

2) You are full, but you go ahead and eat the rest of them. Every last fragment.

3) You put them back in the pantry to have for another day and will eat them before you open the new bag.

4) You’re not about to save a bag of crushed potato chips and you throw them in the trash.


If your answers were mostly…

1) Go hug a tree.

2) You live in your parents’ basement.

3) You have no one for company but your Gilmore Girls DVDs and your asthmatic iguana.

4) Good call. Have a steak.